TheyCallHimMrBrass
by Judge-Douglas-Mason
Summary: A day off in the life of Jim Brass


Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, but I have the cast chained up in the basement, so I'm halfway there. (giggles maniacally)

Borrowed: Stargate-SG1-Double Secret Productions

------------------------------ They call him Mr. Brass. ----------------------------------------

The sun crept in through the curtains of his room. Unfortunately, he was facing the window so the sun hit him right between the eyes. He rose, slowly, and stumbled over to the window and closed the gap in the curtains. Returning to bed he noticed that the sun was still there so he looked around his room and grabbed a chair. He drew the curtains to overlap at their bottoms and placed the chair against the wall, effectively blocking out the sun. "HA!, take that." he said as he huffed back to bed.

He looked at his alarm clock and it read 06:30. He thought to himself, "Its too damn early." He rolled over and went back to sleep. The next time he opened his eyes it was a more appropriate time 11:00. He emerged from his cotton flannel cocoon and sauntered to the bathroom. After a long, hot shower he came out feeling like a new man. Refreshed, he got dressed and made some coffee. He sat and read through his junk mail as he gingerly sipped his dose of French roasted jet-fuel. He looked down at his calendar and saw that he had the day off. "A whole day, what to do?" he wondered as he made his way over to his corner set fish tank.

"Hello, Felix. Hello, Oscar." He said to his two angelfish as he dropped flakes into the tank and tapped on the glass.

He took one last look around his house as he grabbed his coat and left his home for his day off. He walked down his driveway and got into his car. "Where to first?" he asked himself. He drove into town, he needed groceries.

The Sav-Mart was just a few minutes away and he was there in record time. He grabbed a cart as he entered the store. His first destination, produce. Looking at the vast selection of fruit juicy delicacies, he decided on four Red Delicious apples, six giant Florida naval oranges and half a dozen bananas. His next stop, more coffee. As he slowly wandered down the aisle he found his favourite blend, Double French Roast Embolism. "Can never have too much of this stuff." he thought as he heaped two packages into his cart. He perused the meat department and settled on the biggest sirloin he could find, proud of himself that he picked one that was 1 1/2 inches thick, before grilling. He grabbed some chicken and a marinated pork loin as well. Next stop, cereal. This was always a problem for him. He had a really big sweet tooth and was currently in toasted corn, sugar coated heaven. He selected a box of Choco-beebee's, and a box of Honey Graham clusters. Much to his detriment the next aisle over was the official junk food aisle. He tried to walk as fast as his little legs would carry him, but stopped at a new product display. Chocolate Devil Dogs. "What the hell." he thought as he tosses two boxes in his cart. He also gathered two cases of diet cola, if he was eating all this junk he might as well have something diet. But to be honest, he liked the saccharine taste of it. And now off to the frozen foods. Pizza, Burritos, and a hefty selection of Stouffer's lasagna. Before he got himself into any more trouble he hit the check out lane.

He loaded his groceries and went back home to unload. As he was putting everything in it's place he flipped on the television.  
There was a show that he absolutely had to watch every Saturday afternoon. You see Brass is a major Stargate-SG1 junkie. He sat on his couch Indian style with his bowl of Choco-beebee's and gave the tele his complete and total attention for the whole duration, saving for commercials when he would run back into the kitchen and unpack some more. After the show was over he decided to go for a walk.

It was nice out and it had been some time since he had been to the woods. Well, not for a crime, that is. He took his pack out of his car and placed two 1 litre water bottles and four power bars inside. He started up the trail when he noticed that he was being followed. He turned to see that he had some company on his little hike. He stood and looked down at an Australian Shepard mix dog staring up at him. He tried to shoo the dog away, but was unsuccessful. He continued, hoping that the dog would lose interest and leave him alone.

He hiked for about a mile and a half when he stopped for a water break. As he turned to sit on a rock he noticed that his little companion was still with him. Cupping his hands, he placed a water bottle between his chin and chest and called to the dog. The dog approached cautiously and sniffed for a bit, finally dipping it's head and drinking the water. When the dog finished drinking Brass lifted the bottle to his mouth and drank some himself. He continued down the trail followed by the dog. He was followed for his entire hike and back to his car.

Just as he was going to leave the dog began to bark and Brass got out of his car and walked over to the dog. He checked for a collar and found none. He felt the body of the dog and noticed that he was a bit thin, probably been out here for a while. He stood and sighed deeply as he opened the back door of his car and motioned for the dog to get in, and in he went, finally curling up on the back seat.

On his way home Brass stopped at the local pet store. He went in and was immediately bombarded by seventeen different kinds of dog food. He settled on some soft food and a big bag of kibble. He bought a food dish, water bowl and some dog shampoo as well. He placed his purchases in the trunk and started on his way home. He hefted the food into his house and then he opened the back door of his car and the dog jumped out. He followed Brass inside and began to explore.

He put some food in the dish and the dog ate immediately. Followed by drinking from the water bowl. "What to call him"  
he thought to himself. Sitting back on his couch he noticed the dog scratching and remembered the shampoo. He brought the dog to the bathroom where he filled the tub halfway and placed the dog in it. He bathed the dog and as he was reaching for a towel to dry him, the dog jumped out and started running around the apartment. Brass chased him all over and finally ending up in his bedroom. The dog sat by the bed and this elicited a stern response from Jim.

"Don't you even think about it." he said as he approached the dog.

As he was just within reach the dog jumped up on the bed and began to shake. Jim covered his face from the water being flung around the room and when it stopped he stood and looked at the dog, now sitting on the bed. Jim sighed in defeat and began to dry the dog off. After laundry having been done, and both Jim and his new friend having been fed they both relaxed and watched television .

After a while he looked down to see that his new friend was staring at a fly on the floor, and that's when it came to him.  
"I'll call you Grissom. Yeah, he'd get a kick out of that." Brass said aloud At that time the phone rang and much to his surprise it was Gil Grissom.

"Brass."

"Grissom."

"Social call?" Brass asked

"No. My VCR's broken. Can I come and use yours for an hour?" Grissom asked

"I guess so."

Grissom arrives about twenty minutes later and Brass let him in. Grissom entered and saw the dog on the floor.

"Hey, when did you get a dog?" asked Grissom

"Today. Found him on a hike. Figured he was homeless."

"That was mighty Christian of you."

"You have no idea."

"What's his name?" asked Grissom Brass smiled and thought for a minute before answering.

"Well, his name is Grissom."

"What!? You named your dog after me? Why?"

"I saw him lying on the floor a while ago and he was nose to nose with a housefly. Just staring at it. That's when it came to me."

"Well I guess I should be honoured." Grissom responded.

Grissom bent down to pet the dog and he rolled over and exposed his belly to him.

"He's trusting." said Grissom

"Well, Grissom. I'm Gil Grissom."

The dog sat up and licked his face. Grissom smiled and scratched behind his ear. (behind his own ear, not the dogs)

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COMPLETA!! (Thought this would be a cute homage for the under appreciated Paul Guilfoyle)


End file.
